This is about Victoria Secret…so of course body image.

I had seen this pic circulating around too. So when I saw Tyra Banks had posted it on Instagram I was anxious to see what her opinion was.

No, that's wrong. I was anxious to see just how easy, breezy, and beautifully she would treat the mess out of  Victoria Secret and the direction it has taken since the 90's/early 2000's.

Then I read her caption.

This is about BEYONCÈ Part 2.

Yoncè, don't give me that look.

Beyoncè.

I understand that I am just another bee in the hive, but does your team not even care that I'm a full time student? 

My holiday break only lasts so long. Spring break is just one week. I plan on continuing to work on campus and take classes over the summer.

This is about BEYONCÈ Part 1.

Beyoncè.

A lot has happened to me over the course of just a few days. I started a whole new chapter in my life. I'm pretty sure I lost the feeling in my left big toe forever. My ears keep hearing the same melodies and my brain keeps churning the same words.

All the hype around this album

This is a significant part of my young life, people - recognize.

APOLOGY:

My apologies, people, for being MIA this past month! My first quarter of the school year is officially over and I'm still surprised that I didn't spontaneously catch on fire and burn to death. There were a few deadline days that I kinda wished I did. Spending winter break back home in the place that only knows of its own existence means I finally have time to work on the blog!

END OF APOLOGY.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

iPhone 5c

1. I am now a part of the iPhone family.

This is about how stupid I think Nutella is and other stuff.

I've officially had enough of your nutella.

I don't want nutella on my toast.
I don't want nutella on my fruit.
I don't want nutella in my drinks.

Why do you love nutella so much? Like SO MUCH?

Nothing is that healthy if you eat it all the freakin time!

"Oh! I'm such a fatty eating nutella and fruit!"

This is the second transcript of a text conversation.

Thursday October 10, 2013

Ashley: I know you are busy, but I am hurt that you would not accept my friendship hat. I just wanted to let you know my true feelings

This is the first transcript of a text conversation.

Tuesday October 8, 2013

Me: So you finna let me know about Monday on Wednesday?

Ashley: Lord willing...

Me: That's all we can promise, can we?

Ashley: If God brought you to it, he'll bring you through it

Me: Cause He will never put more on

This is the not so guy's girl.

Someone told me I was a guy's girl once. I decided to map it out.

PROS
Comedy Central
No pants

This is coverage of Queens of the Stone Age.

This is so freakin late.

I apologize.

I planned on making a vlog but life happened and now I'm rushing a written post.

QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE

Harrah's Stir Concert Cove: my girl Teri and I show up with enough time

This is about my big chop.

Those that grew up with me know I was all about my hair.

Pounds and pounds of hair.

I got my first relaxer against my will at 4 years old and though I envisioned death

This is coverage of The Mrs.Carter Show.

I'm about 99% sure now that Beyonce is in fact just another child of God and not a computer generated hologram or a beautiful, complex algorithm.

This was just an idea back in February and before I realized it - it was Friday, July 12th and I was riding in the car towards the Gwinnett Arena in Atlanta

This is about being a virgin.

Do people still know what virgin means?

Do people know that you can't "catch" virgin?

Did urban dictionary mix up the definition for virgin with "cannibal

This is a call to self promote.

Hello,

Do you like you?
Are you a fan of you?
Are you working on big things for you?
Do you often talk to you about letting the world know about you and those big things you are doing?

Ya do?! Well, have I got an opportunity for you!

This is a note to that girl who "doesn't like girls".

I apologize in advance because I even have some friends who say this, but I really need to get this topic off my chest.

Ladies, can we stop saying "I don't like girls"? 

I find this statement to actually be an attitude problem, because when you think about it

This is a call to action.

I mean what I say! Leave a comment, you will get a response.
All these views and no interaction bruh!
Let's get talking.

This is my call to action while I eat ice cream.

This is my expression of feelings via haiku.

If you follow me on Twitter (you don't? but whyyyyy?) you know how much I love haikus. This 5-7-5 syllable poem is easy and fun. So I decided to express some of my current feelings via the haiku.

This is my haiku about summer concerts. LOOK AT IT!

July Beyonce.

This is about the abyss that is college.

Real Talk

First, I apologize for not posting a written blog post in a good minute. Y'all need to read more.
Second, I apologize if my written posts aren't as exciting as my videos, however these written words help me practice the writing skills that I will need to earn my degree and I hate editing videos because it takes too freakin long and I get sick of looking at my stupid face.

I always tell myself to put on some makeup or something but then I don't because no.

What I'd like to discuss today is a topic inspired by the many depressing conversations I've had with my fellow class of 2012 friends.

This is Ratchet Poetry Presents 2.

It goes on and on.
Listen to me talk about poop.

This is Ratchet Poetry Presents 1.

Inspired by the always eventful Soul Fo' Mondays at DePaul University, a group of friends and myself decided to do some poetry of our own. Sure, by professional standards we're subpar, but by all things ratchet, we are gems! After some deep thinking and staying up literally the entire night, we found the inspiration.
I proudly introduce the first installment of Ratchet Poetry Presents.

This is my listen to Bow Down/I Been On Part 2.

Sure sure, you could call this a response. Technically it is I guess, but I'm not preaching at you or analyzing all the hidden meanings or hyping up that Illuminati crap (not that I believe Satan is not present in music, he may be triflin but he aint stupid, he stays listening, but I think all this is just putting fear in people instead of discussing how to stay above the influence of darkness...expect a post later) I'm just discussing what I thought about my first listen.

This is my listen to Bow Down/I Been On Part 1.

Our girl just dropped some new ish and responses are going just as hard as her new single sneak peek. I have a lot to say, but I thought I'd do a break down first for anybody that hasn't listened yet.
And if you haven't listened by now what are you doing with your life? Oh you have one...mmkay.

This is,

MAB

This is about that homework.

Struggling with your homework? Tired of late nights? Early mornings? Or all nighters? Almost finished with my second quarter of college, I'm here with some helpful tips on how to handle your workload like a boss, then get back to business. (Whatever your business may be).

This is the consensus to "the black girl thing".

To my very huge and dramatic surprise, no one said anything.
But the large number of views on This is about the "black girl" thing., however, was a surprise.

This is about the "black girl" thing.

Twitter keeps it real, but that doesn't mean people don't tweet some dumb ish. I've written enough about the discrimination against black girls, but hopefully this vlog will wrap up my arguments...for some time anyway. Listen to this crap, then hit me up with your comments. There will be no progress until we start talking...and there will be no end to my whining until there's progress. Hahaaaa! But really though.

This is,

MAB

This is about what happened at the Black History Month Kickoff.

You all know that white person who just loves to act a fool around black people. Or maybe you are that white person. This kid was caught a few times dancing from the sidelines, so we called him up for possibly the only time in his life that he will be performing in front of a black audience with four black ladies back up dancing for him.
It didn't last long, but I enjoyed it.
Happy White People Wednesday!

This is,

MAB

This is about cutting the cheese.

My second to last class of the day ends. Earbuds in, I head to the L, hop on the train, and blank out on the trip. Finally the train reaches Fullerton and begins to slow down. I rise with the other passengers, then the daintiest fart I've ever had comes out my butt.

This is about middle school.

A lot of crap happened in 2006.
My dad got remarried. My new, blended family moved into a new house. My dad then retired from the military, making Bellevue, Nebraska the longest place this Military brat has been stationed, and thus my hometown. Forever.
It was also the same year I entered 7th grade!
I know a lot of people complain about Middle School, but it was pretty good time for this girl. While it was never Lizzie McGuire or Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide, middle school allowed me to do big kid things with little kid consequences.